All your life, you have fantasized about getting married and settling down. You want a husband who is the most loving and caring being and fulfils all your desires and wishes. But then suddenly, you realize that he is not the one from the fairy tale you read in your childhood. Your husband is different. Rather than thinking about you, he thinks about himself or is more concerned about his family.
You are left with two options here. You either talk it out or give up, thinking he is a narcissist and won’t change. While the latter sounds easier, it’s always better to give your relationship another chance. What if your husband is not actually a narcissist, and things in the past have just made him this way. In such a case, a little communication in the right direction can do wonders, and you can lead the life you have always dreamt of.
But then, if your husband is a narcissist, things would be uglier than you think, and you would need to take some important measures to deal with such a partner. You might be thinking about how to even recognize if your spouse has the traits of a narcissist? Well, we are here to help you save your marriage, and for that, we have compiled a list of signs that are a clear indication that your mate is under the spell of narcissism. So, without further ado, let’s look at them, to give you a clearer picture of what your next steps should be to deal with your not-so-perfect partner.
The signs that tell if you are married to a narcissist
1. Superiority complex
Narcissists believe that the world revolves around them. Where you want it to be about both of you, your kids, and your future, for a narcissist, it’s all about them only. Since these people are self-absorbed and prone to grandiosity, they think they deserve special treatment.
Plus, they try to hijack all the conversations, bringing the topic back to them only. Their attitude clearly indicates the ‘my way or the highway approach’, and your feelings, thoughts, and ideas will always be side-lined. This will definitely lead to uncomfortable discussions every time, where you might feel unimportant and to maintain your sanity, you might choose to stay quiet at times.
2. Expects people to always sing their praises
Along with praising himself all the time, your narcissistic husband will expect the same from you. Since it’s about them, you are only allowed to admire them, even if it’s far from the truth. With them, talking about you or your feelings is a distant dream, and if you do, either these will be ignored, or the talk will lead to a serious fight.
So to deal with such a partner, you will need to be ready with a handbook every time, highlighting their good qualities which will make them more confident in the game. So, if your mate wants you to sing his praises all the time, consider it a red flag, indicating you are living with a narcissist and you need to take proper remedial actions before it is too late.
3. Loves to impose their opinion
Giving your opinion is important for boosting your self-esteem, and if you are stopped from doing so, you will soon lose your confidence. And this is what a narcissistic husband does to your personality. He imposes his opinion all the time, thinking that it is a fact, and so is right.
What’s the point in carrying on in such a relationship where you cannot breathe in free air? The air is theirs, and so are the words. You are just a follower; you have to nod your head in affirmation every time your husband presents his views. Even if you succeed in expressing your opinions, he will soon prove that you are wrong. So beware if you are facing such consequences and start accepting the fact that the personality at the other end is that of a narcissist, who will never give you the freedom you are looking for.
4. Lack of empathy for anyone else
A narcissistic husband will never be bothered if you have bad days. Since your feelings were never important, your sadness really doesn’t matter to them. This is because they might not even consider you a human being, rather, you are just an object in their life to please them. As a result, taking advantage of people for their own needs is a common practice.
These people don’t even realize at times that their behavior has a negative impact on others, and so even if you highlight it, they will not get it as the only thing that is important is their, and only their needs.
5. Doesn’t have many friends
Getting rid of narcissistic husbands is difficult, but getting rid of such friends is easier as there are no chains of commitment. Since their traits are abnormal, people try to end such friendships as soon as they realize that their pal is a narcissist. Dealing with such behavior is intolerable, and so these bonds finish too soon. Although not a very obvious sign, having fewer friends is still an important sign that points towards your partner being a narcissist.
6. The habit of picking on you
Narcissists love to pick on others. Firstly it may seem like teasing, but soon you will realize that your mate hates everything you do, including how you dress up, what you eat, who you hang out with, etc., Plus calling you with names and attacking you with not-so-funny jokes is another indicator that points towards your partner being a narcissist.
The goal of such personalities is to put you down so that they seem up and their cravings of superiority are fulfilled. So the next time your partner insults you on your achievement, stop bluffing yourself, and accept that you are married to a narcissist who needs proper treatment.
7. The never-apologizing nature
A narcissist is always right, and right people never apologize. This is how your husband perceives it to be. He will never accept that he has done anything wrong, despite ill-treating you all the time and so expecting an apology is a mistake on your part. Therefore, if your husband is that person, who thinks he is perfect and never accepts his wrong-doings, it’s high time you start planning your next steps to avoid further damage to your personality.
8. Gets easily offended
One more challenge of living with a narcissistic husband is that they get offended too easily. A move in your favor, and they will get angry or upset. Around your partner, you are encouraged to walk on eggshells, or else they will feel bad, ruining their mood as well as your relationship. And being careful all the time is not even possible. So you will have endless fights. If you experience all these things, accept that your soul mate is a narcissist, and you need to do something to keep the wheel of your relationship moving.
9. The master of the blame game
Does your husband always blame you for every problem? If yes, this is definitely one of the strong signs your husband is a narcissist. He will make you responsible for anything and everything, and you would stand there wondering what went wrong.
In such a case, take charge before you lose your self-esteem completely. Explain that the vase broke because he hit it and not because you kept it in the wrong place. He will never accept it, though, but you will feel satisfied that it wasn’t your fault.
Be ready to stand for yourself
Every human being is unique, and so no one deserves to be insulted. If your partner belittles you every time and doesn’t miss a chance to make you feel bad, you should know you are living with a narcissistic husband. Now it’s time to take action. Talking out might help in some cases, and so you can give it a try. Also, make them understand that you are a separate individual and so have your opinions. Visit a therapist if needed. This might reduce the symptoms of narcissism to some extent.
Although changing such a person is impossible, giving one chance is recommended. But if there is no change, hurting yourself is not advised. Always remind yourself that you deserve better and are important. If you continue your life with a narcissist, you will ruin your and your kids’ lives and regret it forever. With this, walk out of the relationship. It’s not easy to leave a husband but then going on is more difficult. You need to preserve your sanity and your future. So time to stand up for yourself and focus on yourself. You are better off without a husband than one who is a narcissist.