In the present era, with so much going on, parents usually try to control their children’s lives, thinking they are giving them protection. But this usually backfires as every individual has their own perspective on life and so prefers to make their own decisions. Parents usually forget that their kids have their own identity rather than being an extension of their personalities, and so they need some space to lead their life as they wish.
And if you too are an adult who thinks your mother or father tries to have a say in everything you do, worry not. You can work around some ways to explain your overbearing parents to respect your opinions and give you the autonomy to choose your own career or life partner or your favorite bag, for that matter. They will understand because they love you.
But then you might be wondering what these ways are? Well, read on, and you will find out the means to deal with your overbearing parents with ease.
The best tips that can help you to deal with overbearing parents
1. Remember that communication always helps
Your parents love you, and their every move is to protect you. So you can stay within your respect limits and communicate your needs and expectations to them. Have you ever wondered why your parents even dictate things to you? It is because they think they know what is best for you and so interfere in your every matter. You can tell them that you are a grown-up now and you know the good and the bad and would seek their help if needed.
Communication is the key to success in all kinds of relationships, and so it can help you if your parents try to control your every move. Talk to them on a continuous basis. Show your uneasiness when you think they are going overboard with their controlling nature, and there will be a time when you will realize that this trait of theirs has reduced, and then you can enjoy your life as per your wishes.
Related Article: 8 Negative Effects of Controlled Parenting
2. Set rules
Establishing rules and boundaries in a relationship has always been important. So even if you are dealing with your parents, it’s important to set clear rules to let them know their limits and the level of grip they have on your life. Overbearing parents will always try their level best until you give in to their ideas, and so you need to set some boundaries and hold onto them. Only then can you get the reins of your life in your own hands.
Moreover, you also need to set boundaries in the real and virtual world to protect your privacy. Your parents need to seek permission to enter your room, and making them your social media friend is a big NO. Follow these practices and enjoy the private life you have always wanted.
3. Develop interests that are confined to yourself
Keeping your parents a part of your every chore is not recommended. Soon they will want to be involved in everything, creating an air of uneasiness between you and them. Make new friends apart from the ones your parents know and take your updates from. A gym session without your mother is another treat.
Once you develop the habit of engaging in things of your own, you will start enjoying life more, and the intervention of your parent will eventually decrease. One pro tip here would be to travel alone. This act of yours will clearly portray that you are an adult and can take care of things yourself.
4. Identify and work on coping mechanisms
There are a lot of coping strategies that can help you if your mother or father has that negative parenting style. Some people usually seek help from drugs and cigarettes, which will only add to the misery, and hence are not recommended. You can talk to your best friend if you feel like it.
Also, resort to healthy exercises, yoga, and meditation if you think the toxicity is getting on your nerves. These exercises are good for your mental well-being and are a great way to help you deal with your internal emotions. Once you do so, you can work on communicating and other ways to make your parent understand your requirements and lessen their level of control in your life.
5. Take charge wherever you can
Taking charge of things always helps. But remember not to misbehave and hurt your parents. Voice your opinion wherever you can and try to be an independent individual. This is how you can replace your parent’s control over your life with your own.
If you think you can finance your next semester fee or sponsor yourself for your trip, do that, as it will help in dealing with overbearing parents in a more practical way. They will understand that you are mature now and can handle your responsibilities without their involvement in an important aspect of your life.
6. Minimize your availability
If you are available for someone 24/7, they will definitely take you for granted. So make sure you put a limitation on your availability. This will help you in two ways. First of all, you are not around all day, so those moments are control-free from your parent, and secondly, when your loving parent doesn’t see you for elongated periods, they will value you and your words more.
So go to a friend’s house, or spend time in a public library, or get engaged in something more fruitful rather than roaming free in the house. Also, those trips to the supermarket with your overbearing dad are definitely not required. Be there only if he needs help. If he wants to accompany you for some undue advice, kindly excuse yourself and spend your time elsewhere.
7. Be consistent in everything you do
Once you have set a plan to deal with your controlling mother or father, make sure to stick to it. If you keep on breaking the rules you set, then the parent might find ways to emotionally blackmail you and take control over everything once again. They have learned this trait over time based on their experience and observation of how you behave in certain circumstances and might gain power by playing smartly.
So remain steadfast to change them as much as you can. Once you are determined, they might give up, and you can lead a better life as per your choices.
8. Stop depending on them
If you keep on depending on your parents, they will believe that they have the right to control your life and dictate things to you. If you live in their house or look for financial aid time and again from them, they will definitely intervene, and you will have to bear with it. So breaking these ties is important.
Keep in mind that this is not as easy as it sounds. Cutting off emotional and financial dependencies is difficult, but you can plan it and make the right move in the near future. Look for an additional job and try to limit your spending. This way, you will be able to remove your dependencies and lead a more peaceful life.
9. Seek help from others
Finally, if you want to know the perfect way of how to deal with overbearing parents, then take help from professionals. If your mother or father is arrogant, they will never allow you to lead your life on your own terms. Talking out will also not help in such a case. So try to add someone else in the mix who understands the criticality of the situation and can suggest a solution based on that.
You surely don’t want to break this important relationship, and only a specialist or a close relative can help you. A wrong move can create more problems for you. Therefore take help from others to come to a resolution that works in favor of you and your parent. But remember not to cut the important bond you have, no matter how tempting it sounds. Your parents love you and therefore should stay in your life as well-wishers.
Your parents are important and so listening to them also holds value but only until they are not imposing their thoughts on you and expecting you to act like robots. If you feel their controlling attitude is crossing the limits, you need to start playing your part well.
Communicate with them and tell them clearly what you expect. Also, inform them about your aims in life. Since the relationship is so pure, they will definitely understand. Once they do, they will help you achieve your goals your way, and that day you will be the happiest person on the planet.