Marrying the man of your dreams does not come with the guarantee that he will stay loyal to you no matter what. Finding out your partner is cheating on you is never a pleasant thing. However, it is not always that you actually catch your husband in the act, rather his behavior is not what typically it used to be, so you become suspicious. The suspicion can cause you to overthink to the extent that you might question yourself and stop paying attention to the obvious red flags that your husband is showing.
Here are 10 common signs your husband is cheating on you.
1. Changes in communication
The very first sign to look out for in a cheating husband is a change in communication. Previously, your husband used to tell you about his day, talk to you regarding things that were bothering him and give you all the tiny little details about his life. He would shower you with words of affection and would inquire about your day and worries. But now not so much. You start to notice that he is indifferent to you and cannot care less what is going on with you. He avoids talking to you and does not give you satisfactory answers.
Some other signs of stonewalling which mean refusal to listen or talk to someone includes:
- He is distracted
- He does not pay attention to what you are saying
- He gives you vague responses
- He is not interested in conversing with you
- If you get into a fight, he does not want to communicate and resolve the issue
A husband who is loyal and involved is not an absent one. If he shows no interest in having a conversation with you then it is clear enough that someone else has got his attention. It is, therefore, important that you do not ignore this major change in your husband’s behavior and call it out before it gets too late.
Related Article: 8 Signs Your Wife is Cheating on You
2. Your husband becomes emotionally distant
More often than not when your husband becomes involved in an extramarital affair, he starts to maintain a distance between the two of you. This does not just mean a physical one but also an emotional one. Emotional distancing can be in a lot of ways. Some of which may include;
- Showing a lack of empathy towards your worries
- Being mentally absent
- Blaming you for the problems in his life
- Demeaning you
- Getting angry at minor inconveniences
Your partner of many years will not suddenly become emotionally distant for no reason at all. It is a cause for concern and a major red flag.
3. Spending too much time on his cell phone
Another thing to observe in your husband’s behavior will be to take note of his use of his cellular device. If you notice that he is spending way too much time on his mobile phone than usual it is alarming. If you and your husband are hanging out then he has no reason to constantly remain on his cell phone when his wife is next to him.
Moreover, if he is being secretive about his mobile phone in that he is not letting you use it or telling you his passcode then that definitely speaks guilty on his part. Other signs in this regard include;
- Your husband getting multiple calls from a wrong number
- He rushes to answer calls before you can get to them
- He goes into a different room to answer his phone
- Deleting call logs and chat history
When you marry someone, you vow to share your life with them so hiding your cell phone from your significant other is a cause for concern.
4. Lack of physical intimacy
A very noticeable change in your husband’s behavior if he is cheating on you is that he becomes physically distant. He no longer gives you hugs and kisses. Even more so you observe that there is no spark in the bedroom. Physical intimacy is either non-existent or no longer comes naturally but rather it seems like a chore.
If your husband is cheating on you then that means he is getting his needs fulfilled elsewhere so he does not feel a compulsion to make love to you. A lack of physical intimacy, therefore, is a sign that your husband is cheating on you.
5. Change in the work routine
You might have observed that your husband is absent most of the time and claims it is due to the workload at his job. Sometimes he does not even spend nights with you citing working overtime as the reason.
Moreover, you realize that his work is taking up most of his time and as a result, he is not spending enough time with you. This is especially worrisome if it was not the case previously and has only started to happen recently. A change in routine, especially one that involves his absence from your life for longer periods is concerning and indicates infidelity on his part.
6. Unnecessary expenditure
One of the most common signs if your husband is cheating is the change in his expenditure pattern. If you notice that his credit card bill is becoming non stop but he is not getting anything for you then that means he is spending his money on someone else. Unnecessary expenses may look like this;
- A surge in ATM withdrawals
- Spending a lot more than usual on travel
- He complains about not having money when you ask him for it
While this might not seem like a huge deal as after all, he is spending his own money it cannot still be ignored.
7. Obsession with appearance
Dressing up and taking care of yourself are not things that one should be wary of. On the contrary, these are important things for an individual to be doing to express themselves. However, if you feel like your husband is devoting an excessive amount of time to looking at himself and making himself look a certain way then that might be a cause for concern. Men who are cheating are usually;
- Putting in extra effort to dress well
- Spending time making themselves look a certain way
- Focusing more and more on their fitness
These things do sound normal for a person to do. However, men are not typically obsessed with their looks. They only do so if they want to impress a girl. So, your husband might be cheating if he has suddenly started going out of his way to look good.
8. Change in attitude
If your husband has more mood swings than you have when you are on your periods then he is hiding something. His moods become erratic and frustrated. This is worrying especially if he is usually a calm and stable person and has lately become moody. An attitude change may look like this;
- Getting all defensive when confronted
- His temperament fluctuates frequently
- His patience level becomes low
- He becomes secretive
Frequent behavioral changes are not normal especially when you as his wife are taking the brunt of it. A man who is cheating will not behave nicely to his wife.
9. He lies and gaslights
You find out that your husband who has never lied to you before now lies to you frequently. When you ask him to go out with you, he always has an excuse. Upon confrontation, he gets all riled up and eventually puts the blame on you for not trusting him. When things escalate to gaslighting you should know it’s an indication he is feeling guilty and wants to justify his actions.
Lying and gaslighting are common traits found in people who are guilty of doing something. They should not be ignored and definitely not be tolerated so call him out if you notice this pattern in him.
10. Your gut knows the best!
Never ignore what your instincts are telling you. This is the golden rule for everything but especially for husbands who cheat. Your intuition is a clever little thing. When something is off it will be the first one to let you know. Your gut feeling can give you hints such as
- You do not feel comfortable with him anymore
- You feel as if he deliberately misunderstands you
- He feels distant and cold
- Your relationship does not feel the same as before
These are all indications that things are not okay between the two of you. Therefore, you must listen to your gut feeling and make note of what it is saying. Gut feeling is what comes naturally to you so it shouldn’t be ignored.
There is no surefire way of knowing if your husband is cheating without actually catching him red-handed. However, these are some obvious red flags that could be found in him if he is not loyal to you.
When you do feel like there is something wrong then you should have a conversation with him. More often than not it turns out to be a misunderstanding but when it is not then it is better to be safe than sorry!