The loss of a loved one is a painful thing and leaves a void in the heart that people try to fill till they are alive. And if they are your parents, the sufferings multiply. As soon as you lose them, feelings of guilt, regret, pain, and anger surround you from all sides. But then this emptiness is here to stay and will kill you from inside every single day. You don’t want to be suffering, right? Nobody knows how much time they have with their parents, so all the efforts should be geared towards making the most of the time before it’s too late.
It is also important to know that regrets are very natural after your loved one has left this world because even if you give everything to them it doesn’t seem enough. So, if you are a sufferer, stop this blame game, as you are not alone. According to research, regrets and the time spent on overcoming feelings can have a negative impact on people.
To not let things further slip from your hands, we have compiled a list of regrets people have after their parents have left this world. If your parents are alive, try to fulfill your duties as much as you can and if they have left this world, get some relief by reading through the list and knowing that you are not alone in this sphere. There are others who feel the same way. This might offer you some peace.
Regrets children have after their parents have left this world
1. Not fulfilling their dream during their lifetime
Did your parents always want to see you successful? Or did they want to visit a particular place, and you did not have the finances to fulfill their wishes? In either case, when your parents leave this world, you would feel the pain of not making their dream come true. Sometimes things are out of your control, and despite wanting to make them feel good, you don’t have the resources to do so.
So in case you have this regret with you, promise yourself to achieve everything your parents wished for. This way, your inner soul will be happy and content that at least you did what your parents always dreamt of.
2. Regrets of having fights or arguments
Most people feel really bad after having a fight with their loved ones. And if the person has left this world after you had a fight or argument, the feeling is even more distressing. Remember, parents usually forget and forgive their kids and so there is no point fretting over something that is not in your hands.
Keep the good memories with you, and in case if your other parent is still alive, you can make them feel important to overcome the bad feelings that have been haunting you.
3. Not expressing love
Your parents are your most important assets, and little gestures like telling them, ‘I love you’ all the time go a long way. But then, most people are not that expressive, and so the biggest regret they have after their mother or father has left this world is not expressing the love they had in their heart for these important people.
Now there is no point in crying over spilled milk. Keep in mind that your moves never went unnoticed by your parents, and therefore, you don’t need to feel bad for not making those explicit mentions of love to your most important blood relations.
4. Not being grateful for what they did
Your parents give everything up for you, and so you need to be grateful for the sacrifices they make. But then, unfortunately, most people fail to appreciate their parents’ efforts, and this guilt upsets them after their parent passes away.
If you, too, unfortunately, belong to this category, you can value others’ struggles for you, and this step of yours will make you feel better to some extent. This is all you can do for your deceased parents by portraying that you always appreciate others and their upbringing was flawless.
5. Treating them badly
Have you ever treated your parents badly or have failed to give them time when they demanded? If yes, keep this in mind that these feelings are going to haunt you all your life if your parent leaves this world without you having things fixed on time.
Try not to treat your parents badly, and even if you do and they are alive, ask for forgiveness immediately. If they have left for their heavenly abode, pray for yourself, as this is the only route to getting some inner peace.
How to deal with the feelings of regret?
If you are an orphan and feel like you couldn’t do much for your parents, then follow these simple rules to live a peaceful life now. Your parents have left, but you are here, and you surely do not need to ruin the other important relationships that you have.
- Let go: Holding onto the regrets will only add to the misery, so try to forgive yourself and move on.
- Do not repeat your mistakes: You might have some other important relationships in life, and since life is unpredictable try not to repeat the same blunders. This way, your regrets will be lessened too, and you won’t be developing more of them.
- Seek therapy: You have already lost your most important person, and if you allow these feelings to take over you, you might face serious health issues. So, before you lose control of everything, you should seek external help. These therapy sessions will help you take charge of your mental health and lead a peaceful life, free from the thoughts and anxieties that have surrounded you after your parents’ death.
As soon as your parents leave this world, everything seems against you. There is already a lot of grief, and if you allow the regrets to take over your mind, you will lose everything in one go. Feeling bad about things that have happened in the past is normal, but then you might have done them unintentionally, and constantly blaming yourself for something that cannot be fixed is useless.
Just remember not to repeat these mistakes in the future with anyone. Let’s hope that time proves to be the biggest healer of your wounds to let you live peacefully in the future. Best of Luck!