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Ways to Deal with Betrayal from Husband

7 Ways to Deal With Betrayal From Your Husband

Since your teenage years, you dream of settling with your partner and leading an ideal life. Right after marriage, everything seems just perfect around, but one fine day you find that your partner is cheating on you. What happens then? Your world turns upside down at that very minute, and you decide to give up and walk out.

But then, that is not the only solution. You might be having kids who consider their father to be perfect. You have school fees to pay, other requirements to meet, and above all, you love that man. You cannot convince yourself to just leave. Even if you do, moving on will be a nightmare. You might even regret your decision months or years later, wondering if it was only a misunderstanding. 

Then what should you do? There are ways to deal with betrayal, and you should give yourself and your partner a second chance. But then, what are these ways that will help you decide your next course of action? To help you combat these tough times, we have compiled the following list that will make your life easier.

1. Analyze the situation more thoroughly

Your first step on how to deal with your husband’s betrayal should not be an immediate emotional reaction, as this may ruin everything in seconds, without giving you a chance to realize what actually happened. Do your research first. Collect more details before coming to a conclusion. The conversation you are thinking to be the result of an affair might only be a sensitive chat of your husband with a female friend who is in need of support. 

Talk to your husband directly. Maybe he has a justification that is enough to convince you that you were thinking wrong. If that is the case, you don’t need to do anything else. But if things are as uglier as you think, you can involve the family and have a detailed conversation to save or end your relationship.

2. Never seek revenge

You are definitely hurt and angry, and so the immediate thing that comes to your mind is revenge. Planning revenge will only add to the misery by prolonging the feelings of hurt. And remember that posting on social media is a big NO as this will create a big mess, and you won’t be able to reverse the damage later on even if you want to.

So think of healing rather than retaliating. Focus on yourself more. This will offer some peace to you in the longer run, and eventually, you will be able to overcome the feelings of distress if you decide to end it up.

3. Avoid getting into the blame game

Blaming anyone for the damage that has been done will not help. It is simply just going to waste energy if you keep on thinking that things took a bad turn because of you, your partner or anyone else. Also, don’t play victim, as this will only make you feel helpless and bad about yourself.

4. Give time to yourself

You are hurt, and the destruction has been done. The probability is that you are shattered into pieces after realizing that the love of your life has cheated on you. Now obviously you need time for yourself. Give yourself that time, as they say, time is the best healer.

Moreover, an immediate reaction will be out of anger or rage. When you allow yourself to ponder over what has happened at a later stage, you will be in a better position to make a rational decision for yourself and your kids. Also, you can set boundaries, define limits, and work around certain things in your favor if you take the time. Immediate responses might turn in your husband’s and that other lady’s favor, which is the last thing you want. Thinking twice will help you devise the right punishment for those who are guilty. 

5. Keep your kids away from the whole thing

Your kids are innocent and should be kept out of the whole situation. You are definitely suffering every minute and so would not want your kids to be a part of it too. Moreover, if these little creatures come to know about the affair of their father, this will have a very negative impact on their mental wellbeing. 

If the kids find out, their energy will be consumed in silly things, justifying the rights and wrongs and taking sides. Therefore, you should limit the spread of the suffering by keeping your children away from the whole matter.

6. Seek professional help

Dealing with unfaithfulness alone is not advised. You have done nothing wrong, and so you don’t deserve to suffer. Therefore while working on how to deal with betrayal, look for counsellors who can help you heal faster. This has two advantages. Firstly, a counsellor is neutral and will give you an unbiased opinion that is better for you and your children. Secondly, they are professionals and know how to deal with such cases better. Their opinions will be in your favor rather than just reactions that have come out of rage or anger.

Above all this, a specialist can help you in overcoming your feelings of guilt, shame, and anything else that is making you blame yourself.  So apart from getting the guilty punished, the innocent will also know a way out to continue living in a healthier manner.

7. Decide if you can forgive and move on

It is your life, and you have the right to decide your future. But once your husband is caught, you need to consider a lot of factors while deciding if you want to continue the relationship or put an end to it. Analyze your financial situation and your and your kids’ dependency on your spouse. If you can look into your bills yourself, walking out is quite easy. But if the case is otherwise, you would not want to take the weight of suffering alone. Your walking out will definitely give your partner the license to marry or live with the other person without your and the children’s responsibilities. This is something which is not recommended. 

Also, know your rights as per the laws of the country you live in or the culture you belong to. If you have additional rights for being cheated, leave that crook immediately and teach him the lesson by involving the right people. Karma is definitely going to take your revenge, and you will be paid for your faithfulness in a better way.

So look at your present situation and your intensity of love or hate towards your spouse and then decide if you want to forgive him or just call it off completely.

Parting thoughts

You have been cheated, and it hurts, but then if there are a lot of responsibilities to be looked into, it’s better to involve your spouse. He is the wrong-doer and should not be spared at any cost. Decide your punishment wisely so that you don’t have to suffer any further and can lead the beautiful life you have been made for. 

Dr. Quratul Ann Ghori

While she is not patrolling the wards or tending to her patients, Dr. Ghori delves into the sanctuary provided to her by words. Like your standard copywriter, she is - minus the pun - never content with her creative juices despite churning a fine piece, she believes! She enjoys writing, and there are two things that she loathes, despite their necessity, that is, the number of words limiting her flow of thought, and of course, burnouts! To nourish her mind with sanity and creativity alike, she tries to chug as much coffee as possible to make the process flow better.

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