Every parent loves their child. The way they show their love may differ, but deep inside, there is a natural bonding shared between a child and parents that is unconditional. Some parents are too extreme and may express love in unconventional ways. For instance, you couldn’t understand why your child scored low in math or why they cannot excel at sports like their fellows. Some may fear that their children will be unable to make correct decisions when no adult looks over their shoulders.
Remember, a control freak parent ends up scaring their children beyond limits. If you have always been an advocate of perfection and habitual of nitpicking every mistake your kid makes, this blog might be a useful read. Below, we have outlined 8 negative outcomes of controlled parenting on a child.
1. Lack of risk aversion and fighting-back skills
It is normal for a parent to try to protect their kids from problems and setbacks. Although you have to help your child escape troubles, you shouldn’t become an obstacle in their ways of learning. When you try your kid to overcome every problem and keep them away from risks, you are depriving them of valuable lessons. They will be unable to deal with problems later in their lives.
A child who has never seen any issues will lack problem-solving and decision-making skills. This transfers into adulthood and creates a huge impact on their psychology. It is essential to let your child think for themselves. Allow them to think about these challenges and how to reduce their impact on their lives.
2. Psychological problems
As mentioned, the effects of controlled parenting are transferred to adulthood. Besides lacking risk aversion skills, these children tend to be depressed. They will feel powerless and overly vulnerable. When a problematic situation stands in front of them, they tend to sneak out or quit. The extreme behaviors like suicide are also potential issues among such kids.
Worry, anxiety, and fear will be their reactions to the situations. Parents need to teach their children how to express their feelings. Learn how you can be your child’s best friend, so they become self-aware.
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3. Develop unhealthy relations
A child who has been neglected friendship from the parents tends to seek comfort outside. They may fall into bad company which eventually brings harm. The parents must be the confidant their kids can trust. Allow them to talk to you freely about all matters. They won’t knock at other doors when they have confidence in their parents.
Another problem that often arises due to controlled parenting is the inability to create healthy relationships. These children grow up as adults who can’t trust their spouses and friends. The lack of trust gradually deteriorates their relationships. Or they may develop a controlled personality trait, where they want to dominate their spouse or children. This begins a cycle that causes harm to every element of their lives.
4. Lack of creativity
Controlled parents want their child to follow their commands. They send a clear-cut message with their actions: “The way I command is the only correct way to complete a task.” And even though their children follow their instructions, it is the way they kill their creative skills. These kids are unable to think and express their unique ideas.
A parent should understand that their kids have different mental patterns than themselves. Given that every problem has multiple solutions, a parent should allow their child to think and work out a solution independently. It would help if you allowed your kid to think, experiment, and learn organically.
5. Kids are scared of mistakes
If a parent constantly keeps an eye on their child, commanding their every move, the child feels afraid. And although they don’t make mistakes, these children can’t think independently. Remember, lessons learned through mistakes are lasting and most fruitful. However, if a parent doesn’t allow their child to make mistakes, they are closing a learning method.
One of the negative effects of controlled parenting is that the child is afraid of telling his/her parents about his/her mistakes. They may hide the bad stuff because they are scared their parents will punish or scold them. It is required for the parents to guide their kids toward a better path, but punishments and strict actions could make the child scared. Instead, teaching your child that mistakes are inevitable would be best. Every human errs, and taking responsibility for those mistakes is no harm.
6. Slow or no development of social skills
It has been noticed that controlled parents don’t allow their children to socialize much. The fear of bad company makes them paranoid, and they want their children to stay in their protective bubble. In some cases, these children have fewer social skills. Such children feel afraid and insecure. The fear of abandonment is deep, and they behave badly toward the people in their lives.
When the parents teach their children how to socialize and let them blend with people without dominating them, it makes them confident. On the other hand, children with parents interfering with their social lives grow up to be individuals who crave attention and approval from others. They don’t rely emotionally on anyone, which causes depression.
7. Have a lower stress threshold
Human life has many ups and downs. There are days when everything in life is filled with happiness, and then there are days when life throws the hardest curveballs at us. The children must learn about these issues at an early age. They should know that life is not always filled with rainbows and unicorns. Some people out there are having the toughest lives because of their circumstances. Besides teaching them gratitude, this realization will allow them to think of ways to escape these issues.
Controlled parents abandon their children from learning these lessons. When they resolve all the problems and wish to bring happiness to their children, they deprive them of substantial learning. A child should acknowledge all the issues his/her family faces. For instance, the child should know if the family is struggling financially. The realization that they can’t get everything they desire enables them to think about ways to help their family.
8. Develop arrogance
Frequent punishment or scolding can create a reverse impact on the child. These children eventually develop an attitude of arrogance. They start believing that they can never satisfy their parents and they stop caring all of a sudden.
Also, too many restrictions and lack of freedom result in the child behaving aggressively. The hostility felt towards other kids is also evident in their behavior. They misinterpret the intentions and try to maintain a distance from their parents.
Controlled parents often raise children who are willing to command others. They don’t like it if anyone counters their perspective or points out their mistakes. It will help if parents allow their kids a certain level of liberty. They should be allowed to make their own decisions and learn to understand others’ points of view.
Excessive control can create more negative impacts than positive ones. Such parenting behavior breeds insecurity among children. They become adults with mental issues, arrogance, lack of social skills, and restricted creative skills. And no parent wants their child to face these issues in their adulthood. So, if you are a parent who wants their child to be perfect, you should provide them a margin to err.
It would be best if you exposed your child to the toughest situations and don’t help them. This compels them to nurture their creative thinking and find ways to escape. Such kids are more confident, have better relationships, and excel in their lives.
Stephen R.Covey has stated quite aptly: