Compatibility refers to being happy with your partner and enjoying each other’s company which leads to a healthy relationship. If this is the case, you both will definitely go a long way together, fulfilling all your goals and planning your future that encompasses all your wishes and dreams. But then, if you feel something is off in your love life and you both have different perspectives on life, the chances are that your path with each other might be short and full of bumps.
So, rather than carrying on with a relationship that gives you stress every minute, it is better to identify if you and your partner are compatible and then decide on how to go on with the bond you share. If the negatives are due to some temporary circumstances, you can take some time to work out things at your end, and if there is something fishy, you need to detect it at the earliest to save your personality from any undue damage.
So, to help you find out the signs of incompatibility and to keep your mind at peace, we have compiled a list for you. Refer to it and make sure you are with the right person.
1. A lot of undue arguments
Do you and your partner get into countless arguments over petty issues every now and then? If yes, and none of you seems ready to compromise, this clearly indicates a mismatch. Companionship is all about consensus among both the partners, and if this is missing between you two, it will create a lot of problems in the long run.
Well, there are a lot of couple therapies that can help both of you to get on the same page. If you want to carry with this lovely but not so cooperative partner, seek professional help, and you might enjoy each other’s company, despite agreeing on a few things only.
2. Dirty fights
Fights are one step further from arguments and definitely are clear signs of incompatibility. If your arguments expedite and result in ugly fights every time, you are probably not made for each other. You might have heard that fights are normal in relationships, but when the frequency and intensity are huge, then things might have just moved one step further from being acceptable. So, the next time you indulge in a quarrel with your mate, make sure to think over the bad things and also how far you want to go with this person.
Related Article: 5 Most Common Reasons Why Married Couples Fight
3. No common interests
Are you a football fan, and your partner always changes the channel the minute your favorite team is struggling to make that one last goal to win? Also, you are that happy-go-lucky type enjoying late-night walks and movies, and your partner brushes off your interests every time you make a plan. Well, these signals are more than enough for you to come to the conclusion that you both are incompatible partners and are not well-matched with each other. According to Geiger and Livingston, 64% of couples with common interests believed it to be a contributing factor in the success of their marriages. As per Ann Gold Buscho, absence of shared interests was one of the major reasons for couples to opt for divorce.
So, while you are waiting for things to get better, remember this is not as easy as it sounds, so either make things work or be prepared to face the consequences that lie ahead.
4. The sense of security and content is missing
Do you sometimes feel that the love vibes have flown out of your relationship equation? Maybe the thing you thought to be love was just infatuation, and now, when you know your partner well, you feel that you have no feeling of security and affection with this person. Then my dear friend, think again because you might not have anything in common to feel attracted to.
You might not realize it, but security is the most important factor in a relationship. It helps foster trust, vulnerability, and honesty, and so if your partner does not provide you the reassurance you demand from them, you will not be able to go any further with them. This ‘not compatible with partner trait’ is going to cost you your confidence, so be careful before you allow someone to take you for granted.
5. Your partner never takes your side
One good way to check compatibility with partners is to see if they take your side. If your spouse thinks you are always wrong, then stop giving yourself false hopes that things are going to get better soon. There will be a time when this indication of the absence of compatibility will take a toll on you, and you will start blaming yourself for everything.
You have gotten engaged in a bond to feel loved and supported and not because your lover takes the sides of their parents, siblings, neighbors, or anyone else. This is definitely a red flag, and the earlier you realize this, the better it is for your mental health.
6. You feel hesitant to talk your heart out
You are an extrovert and never think twice before talking to a close friend. But then, do you feel that your partner will get upset if you share your feelings with them? If yes, this means you are afraid of losing them on every other conversation that is either about you or is something that is not in favor of them.
If this is the case, the relationship lacks harmony, and so you have to start working harder to make things work. Talk to your partner about the discomfort you experience and see if they understand and make you feel better the next time you are telling them about your favorite show or an event that you attended and had the time of your life.
7. You both have different definitions of an ideal future
You are in a relationship, and you definitely see a future with your mate. If you are dreaming of a house in a hilly area and your partner always talks of moving to the deserted areas of Africa, then stop right away. You are not foreseeing yourself in a long-distance relationship, and no matter how hard you try, it’s never going to work because this disagreement has no future.
Try to come to a consensus, and if you both think you can survive with each other, go ahead. Otherwise, wasting so much time on someone is just simply not worth it.
Compatibility is very important to nurture and grow your relationship. Its absence might not be felt in the beginning, but as you go along the path of your bond with your lover, you will realize that you need it for healthy survival.
Well, making the wrong judgment due to some temporary episodes of fights is also not recommended. Maybe you two are going through a bad phase in life and part ways only to realize later that you had so many things in common. The opposite personality that has attracted you might be the right companion made for you only. So, carefully evaluate your relationship on the basis of the signs mentioned above. If you find your partner to be incompatible, communicate with them and seek therapy if required.
However, if you feel you both are still not getting along well, give some time to each other, and you will have a clear picture of how to proceed. You only live once, and so it’s better to live it with the right person.