Home » 6 Reasons Why You Are Not Attracted to Your Wife Anymore
6 Reasons Why You Are Not Attracted to Your Wife Anymore

6 Reasons Why You Are Not Attracted to Your Wife Anymore

As the honeymoon period fades, relationships tend to get stale. In the beginning, both partners are bursting with passion and love for each other. They want to spend every minute of their waking moment with each other. However, this does not last for much longer since eventually, relationships become a routine and most people tend to break away from routines as they get bored and weary.

It is very common to lose attraction toward your significant other especially when the relationship is long-term. This is particularly true for married people as they are constantly around each other and there are a number of problems that can cause one spouse to lose attraction toward the other. According to Nazanin Moali, a sex therapist based in Los Angeles and host of the podcast “Sexology”, it is normal for attraction amongst couples to dissipate in long-term relationships.

Husbands, in particular, feel the need to spruce things up in their lives and when that does not happen they experience a lack of attraction toward their wives. It is important to figure out the reasons behind it. Some of the most common causes why you are not attracted to your wife are listed down below.

1. Boredom

This might perhaps be the most common reason why you no longer feel attracted to your wife. Your life gets stuck in a rut where you go out to work from 9 to 5 only to come back to your house tired and exhausted and discover your wife is in the same condition. 

Routines like these become your comfort zone and more often than not you want to remain in it in order to feel secure and stable. However, as it continues to drag, it pulls away all your energy leaving you miserable and in need of a breakthrough that would make you look toward life with a spark in your eyes.

Stability and security are good elements that can keep a relationship going. However, too much of anything is hazardous and so it can cause your relationship to go stale and predictable. Hence, it is important that you continue to make your relationship exciting by perhaps taking your wife out on a date as you would do when you were dating, taking a day off to cook something for her, or better yet going on a vacation with her!

2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

We are all too familiar with the fact that distance makes you want to crave the other person. Before when you were dating your wife, you would meet her occasionally and this would make you crave her presence. But now you are constantly around her and you feel like your personal space is not being maintained.

Moreover, because of so much responsibility as a married man you are also unable to meet your friends and do activities that you used to enjoy alone. Perhaps, you feel suffocated by her constant presence and that has made you lose attraction for her. 

You may want to spend some time alone or maybe with your boys in order to clear your head and come home with a fresh mindset. No matter how loving your relationship and wife may be, if there is a lack of personal space and time then there tends to be a bit of discontent and dissatisfaction. So, once in a while head out with your friends and make time for just yourself.

3. Unresolved resentment

Perhaps, there was a fight between you too and neither of you talked it out with each other. Now you and your wife are just carrying on with your lives as if nothing has happened. Or maybe there was something your wife said or did that did not go well with you but kept silent so as to maintain the peace. These things cause a lot of bitterness if you do not talk and communicate with them. 

A healthy and fulfilling relationship entails that you are transparent about your feelings and articulate them in a manner that your wife understands your sentiments. Otherwise, you will continue to feel disrespected which will eventually cause you to lose attraction to her.

4. Absence of romance

It is easy to make each other a habit and eventually lose all sense of romantic feelings toward each other. When you and your wife are constantly held up in chores and everyday life then it is normal to feel a lack of attraction toward your wife 

You no longer share kisses or intimate time with each other and everything that you guys do is for your kids. You no longer feel as though she is the love of your life but rather a mother to your children. It is, therefore, important to make time for each other and bring variations in your daily life.

5. Unmet needs and expectations

Lately, have you been feeling a nagging sensation that there is something not so fulfilling about your marriage? This might be due to the fact that you are feeling a certain sense of resentment toward your wife. This is because you do not think that your needs and expectations are being met by her. Furthermore, she seems distant and emotionally unavailable.

These sentiments can cause you to lose attraction toward your wife especially when you have communicated those needs to her. This makes you feel unimportant and insignificant in her eyes. If the most important person in your life does not pay attention to your needs and wants then it causes resentment and misery. Humans thrive on attention especially when it is coming from your significant other so it is only natural that a lack of it will make you feel less attracted to your wife.

It is, therefore, important that you look out for yourself and communicate clearly your needs to your wife. Even then if she disregards them then you should talk to her and tell her it is not working out for you and that she needs to pay more attention to you.

6. Lack of physical attraction

When you look at your wife you might not feel sexually attracted to her. This is perhaps because you think she has let go of herself and does not put in the effort to look good for you. You no longer find her appealing enough to be intimate with her because she does not seem to be too involved with her looks and as a result, she does not look the same as she used to before you guys got married. 

This can lead to a lack of sexual intimacy with your wife which can cause you to lose interest in her because now you are as good as friends living together. Physical attraction is a major aspect when it comes to feeling altogether attractive toward your significant other. 


When people are together in a marriage for a very long time it is not uncommon for them to lose attraction for their partners. If you want to remain attracted to your wife then the key here is to constantly break the routine and do exciting things with each other that make you feel invigorated and hopeful for what is about to come next.

Sundus Siddiqui

Architect and writer, Sundus Siddiqui, is as passionate about designing buildings as she is about constructing words. Even though she is a full time architect but since she is always brimming with new and creative ideas, she took upon writing as another medium in order to express herself. She is a perfectionist when it comes to her buildings and words alike. To get her creative juices flowing, she likes to read and paint while drinking a lot of tea.

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